The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams .
“What‘s in here?” he asked.
“Dirt,” the driver replied.
“Take them out,” the guard instructed. “I want to check them.”
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
“What‘s in the bags this time?” he asked.
“Dirt, more dirt.” said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender .
Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, “Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you‘ll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time.”
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender‘s ear and whispered, “Cars.”
翻译：
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么？”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么？”他问道。
“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。
有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西？”
那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”
sentry（哨兵）
seams（缝合线）
bartender（酒保）
on the house（免费）
Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
“You talk to people on the telephone and don‘t see them on the other end of the line, right?” he began.
The children nodded yes. “Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He‘s on the other end, but you can‘t see him. He is listening though.”
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, “What‘s his number?”
翻译：
在电话中交谈
每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面，然后给他们讲一个故事。一天，他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，带来了一台电话机。
“你们和别人在电话里交谈，并没有看到电话线另一端的人，对吗？”他开始问道。孩子们点头称是。“好的，和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端，虽然你看不见他，但是他正在聆听你的心声。”
就在这时，一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道：“那他的电话号码是什么？”
