1.A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I‘m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I‘ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven‘t. I‘ve just dropped it.
翻译:
礼物
凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?
妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?
凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
2.Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch(门廊) .
I couldn‘t help noticing how happy you look, she says. What‘s your secret for a long, happy life?
I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.
Wow, that‘s amazing, says the woman. How old are you?
Twenty-six.
翻译:
长寿秘诀
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
我无意中发现,你是多么幸福,那女士说。你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?
我每天抽三包烟,每周喝一箱威士忌,吃高脂肪食品,而且从来不曾锻炼。
哦,真神奇,女士说。你高寿?
二十六。