1.Grandpa will pay the bill
Walking up to a department store‘s fabric（织物，布） counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk（假笑，傻笑） . “That‘s fine,” said the girl. “I‘ll take ten yards.”
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly（故意使人烦恼地） held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer（老家伙） standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”
翻译：
爷爷给我付账
一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱？”
“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”
带着期待的表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。
女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。”
2.Knights & Nights
Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?
Betty: Because they had so many knights.
翻译：
黑暗时代
老师：为什么有时我们称中世纪为黑暗时代呢？
贝蒂：因为那时有许多骑士。
3.Who Was That Man
The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel poster. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. “I‘ll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency.” They agreed on the spot.
Three weeks later he met them at the airport. While the man checked on their baggage, the travel agent asked the woman about the trip. “The food on the cruise ship was wonderful,” she said, — and flying the Colorado was a thrill. But I do have one question. Who was that man I had to sleep with every night?”
翻译：
那男子是谁
一位小旅行社的老板看到漂亮的一男一女正在他的旅游广告牌前驻足观看。他突然灵机一动，跑上前去告诉他们他的主意：“我为你们提供一次免费的旅游，作为交换条件，你们必须在广告中称赞我的旅行社。”他们当场表示同意。
三周后，他在机场见到他们。那位男子在检查行李时，这位旅行经纪人问那女子旅行情况。“游船上的食物很好，”她说，“而且飞越科罗拉多大峡谷实在刺激。不过我确实想问一个问题，那每天晚上我都必须和他睡在一起的男人是谁？”
4. But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother‘s loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?
Cry? John asked. No, I didn‘t cry, but the teacher did!
翻译：
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？
哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。
