1.Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: “Mom – flunked（不及格，失败） all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop.”
Two days later he received a response: “Pop prepared. Prepare yourself.”
翻译：
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈，我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”
两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
2.Theyre Busy
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents? “
“They‘re busy. “
“Oh. Is anybody else there? “
“The police. “
“Can I speak to them?”
“They‘re busy. “
“Oh. Is anybody else there? “
“The firemen. “
“Can I speak to them? “
“They‘re busy. “
“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they‘re all busy? What are they doing?”
“Looking for me. “
翻译：
他们很忙
电话铃响了，小男孩接了电话。
“请你父母听电话好吗？”
“他们很忙。”
“噢，那家里还有其他人吗？”
“还有警察。”
“我可以和他们说话吗？”
“他们很忙。”
“那还有其他人吗？”
“还有消防员。”
“我可以和他们说话吗？”
“他们也很忙。”
“请直接告诉我——你的父母、警察和消防员都在你家，但他们都很忙，他们到底在干什么？”
“在找我。”
3.A special football match
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, “Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.”
“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.
“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time.” replied Mike.
翻译：
一场特殊的足球比赛
麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说：“对不起，老师，今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢？”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜，所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。
4.CLASSES and ASSES
Class and AssProfessor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today．” A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”． Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”．
翻译：
班”和“笨驴”
格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不会他的班。” 一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。 后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”。
