1.A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”
The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
翻译:
一分一块钱
一天,教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待。
考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票,还有一张纸条写着:“一分一块钱。”
第二堂课,教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。
2. Did You Know Him
At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater(母校,校歌) . One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.
I sure was! answered the host. He‘s the biggest jerk I‘ve ever met. Did you know him too?
Sort of, replied the guest. My mother married him last Saturday.
翻译:
你认识他吗
在朋友家的一次宴会上,主人提起一位高中时的校友。一位客人问他读书期间,某位副校长是否也在职。
当然了,主人答道。他是我见过的最大的混蛋。你也认识他吗?
有点认识,客人回答。我妈妈上周六嫁给了他。
3.Lucky Mother
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren‘t you pleased that you‘ve come to live with us now?
翻译:
幸运的母亲
一位年轻的母亲认为,世界上还有许多受饥饿的人,浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上,在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前,她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油,但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。
母亲看了女儿几秒钟,随即说道,露茜,当我象你一样小的时候,总是吃面包加黄油,或者面包加果酱,从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。
露茜看了母亲一会儿,眼中露出怜悯的神情,然后她柔声说:您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?
4.How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn‘t dare discuss in front of him — his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, “Someone just picked my pocket!” Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, “How could anyone stoop so low?”
翻译:
哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊
我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴,和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者,我应该说,他是有点矮!一天,经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入,高声说,
“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声,但有人却蹦出一句话:
“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!