1.Automobile Fittings
A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer, “Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories(附件) in the neighborhood?”
Mountaineer says, “Some people usually drive heroic car on the road. There is a abrupt turn(急转弯) ahead not far from here, and a clough(深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories. You will spend no money at all.”
翻译:
汽车配件
一个卡车司机向一山民打听:“请问,这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?”
山民说:“这条路上经常有人开英雄车,前面不远处是个急转弯,急转弯的下面就是深谷,那深谷里什么样的汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”
2.I don‘t remember any of the other names
Mr.Green went to Germany,because he had some work there.He came back last Monday,and his young wife met him at the airport.They walked to their car and passed a tall,pretty air hostess.Mr.Green said to her,“Goodbye,Miss Harris,” and the air hostess smiled and said“Goodbye” too. Mrs.Green stopped and looked at the air hostess.Then she said to her husband,“How did you know her name?” “That was easy,”answered Mr.Green.“The names of the captain and all the crew were on a piece of paper in front of our sests.” “What was the name of the captain?”Mrs.Green asked with a smile. Mr.Green laughed and answered,“I don‘t remember any of the other names.”
翻译:
我不记得其他任何人的名字
格林去了德国,因为他在那里有些工作要做。他上星期一回国,他年轻的妻子到机场去接他。他们向他们的汽车走去,遇见了一位高挑、漂亮的空中小姐。格林先生对她说:“再见,哈里斯小姐。”那位空中小姐莞尔一笑,也说了声“再见”。格林夫人停下来,看看那位空中小姐,然后她问她丈夫:“你怎么知道她的名字?”“这很容易,”格林先生回答。“机长和机组全体人员的名单都写在我们座位前的一张纸上。” “那机长叫什么名字?”格林夫人笑着问。 格林先生笑着答道:“我不记得其他任何人的名字。”
3.Life After Death
Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“Yes, Sir.” the new recruit replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother‘s funeral, she stopped in to see you.
翻译:
死后重生
“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。
“是的,先生。”这个新员工回答说。
“哦,那么,这样说来一切就很正常了,” 老板继续说,“在你今早离开,去参加你奶奶的葬礼,她来看你了。”
4.I Cant Let Him Get Away
A male crab(螃蟹) met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can‘t let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. “What happened?” she asked. “You used to walk straight before we were married.”
“Oh, honey, ” he replied, “I can‘t drink that much every day.
翻译:
不能让他跑了
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”