Express mail
After my wife landed a coveted job offer from DHL, we went out of town to celebrate. While on our trip, she was contacted by the company‘s human resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back her tax forms.
”No problem,” she said. “I‘ll FedEx them right over.”
翻译：
快递
在我的妻子得到了那份她期盼已久的DHL工作后，我们出去庆祝。 在路上，DHL的人力资源部给她打来电话，要她火速填好税单并给他们寄过去。
“没问题，”她说。“我一会就联邦快递寄过去”。
Equal-opportunity
One Friday everyone in our office was in high spirits, and Marshall, a sales rep, was making the rounds, joking and teasing us all. When he stopped in front of a new employee‘s desk, she braced herself. “I hoped I might be spared,” she said.
”Oh, you can‘t escape Marshall,” our boss cautioned her. “He‘s an equal-opportunity annoyer.”
翻译：
——平等机会
一个周五，我们办公室的所有人都热情高涨， 销售代表Marshall在办公室内四处耍宝，逗我们高兴。 当他来到一个新员工的桌子前时，那位新员工是一副严阵以待的样子，说，“我希望我能免了”。
Essence of things
Wondering why my niece, Charlotte, was returning to college to get a master‘s in philosophy, I asked, “What can you do with a degree like that?”
”Well,” she explained, “it will qualify me to deal with questions like, ‘What is existence?‘ ‘What is the essence of things?‘ and ‘Do you want fries with that?‘ “
翻译：
——事物的本质
我想知道侄女Charlotte为什么要回到学校去修哲学硕士学位，于是问她，“你要这种学位做什么？”
“呃，”侄女解释说，“有了这个学位，我就有资格回答象下面的一些问题， ‘什么是存在’， ‘什么是事物的本质’，和 ‘要另外来点薯条吗’ 等等”。
Ethics: Coming Soon
As a new federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers. Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I‘m not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found: “Ethics: Coming Soon!”
翻译：
——道德(规程)即将推出
作为一名新的联邦政府雇员，我心情复杂，既兴奋又焦虑，因为要达到政府为他们的工作人员定下的严格的言行标准并非易事。 害怕犯下会造成重大损失的错误，我决定好好读一下《联邦办公室工作人员管理》网页上面的规程和标准。 当我点开一个页面时，我不确定我是担心还是松一下气，上面写着：“道德（规程）：即将推出”。
