My Sister‘s Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don‘t see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren‘t my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师：凯文，这次你怎么又迟到了？
凯文：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀？
凯文：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的
In the air
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.
“Let‘s go to the fair, Matt,” his wife said. “We haven‘t been anywhere for a long time.”
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, “All right, but I‘m not going to spend much money. We‘ll look at things, but we won‘t buy anything. ”
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt‘s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
“Fun flights!” the notice said, ” $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn‘t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.
“I‘ve only got $ 10, ” he told the pilot. “Can my wife come with me for free?” The pilot wasn‘t selling many tickets, so he said, “I‘ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn‘t scream or shout, she can have a free flight.”
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, “0. K. your wife didn‘t make a sound. She can have her ride free.”
“Thank you,” Matt said. “It wasn‘t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out.”
在空中
麦特和妻子住在乡下。麦特很吝啬，讨厌花钱。一天附近的镇子逢集。
“我们去赶集，麦特，”妻子说。“我们很久没出去了。”
麦特想了一会儿。他知道在集市上一定得花钱。最后他说：“好吧，但我不打算花太多钱。我们只看不买。”
他们去集市，看看所有可买的东西。有很多东西麦特的妻子想买，但麦特不让她买。
然后在附近的露天场地，他们看到一架小飞机。
“有趣的飞行。”海报上写着，“10分钟10美元。”
麦特从来没有乘过飞机，所以他想乘一次小飞机。然而他不想付他妻子的票钱。
“我只带了10美元，”他对飞机驾驶员说，“我妻子能免费和我一起乘飞机吗？”驾驶员没卖出多少票，所以他说：“我和你做个交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出声来，她就能免费飞行。”
麦特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飞机。
飞机起飞了，驾驶员让飞机做出各种各样的动作。有一会儿飞机倒着飞行。
飞机着陆时，驾驶员说，“好吧，你妻子没发出任何声响。她就不用买飞机票了。”
“谢谢，”麦特说，“你知道，这对她不容易，特别当她刚才掉下去的时候。”
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”
“You‘ve done the right thing,” says Mommy.
“But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy‘s lap
（英语笑话带翻译 www.lyy5.com）.”
给女士让座
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”
妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
