My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest. Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.
One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl‘s scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.
It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together. Janet‘s description of her husband begins thus: “Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me.”
Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.
He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.
“Helped me when I was ill,” the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is — almost — as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn‘t hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.
“Forgave me a lot.”
“Stood by my side.”
翻译:
我的一个朋友约翰总是有很多话和我说。他深知年轻人需要年长的、有见识的人来教会他们一些事情,诸如应该相信谁,怎样关心别人,以及怎样让自己的生命尽其所能。最近,约翰的妻子珍妮特去世了。八年来,珍妮特一直与癌症抗争,但是最后去还是无法从病魔的手中逃出。
有一天,约翰从他的钱包拿出一张折叠着的纸。他告诉我,这是他在家里清理抽屉的时候无意找到的。这是一份珍妮特的小情书,我们会以为它可能不过是学生妹对自己的白马王子的胡言乱语罢了。但是这份小情书里面却尽是约翰和珍妮特之间款款深情的见证,这是一个有七个孩子的女人写的,她与病魔奋力抗争,即使她知道自己可能只有几个月的时间了。
这也是对于如何维系婚姻的最好解答。珍妮特对于自己丈夫的描述是这样开始的:“始终深爱我,不辞辛劳地照顾我,无论何时都关心我。”
即使约翰的心中一直都对珍妮特的病情清楚,但他从来不拿癌症的事情开玩笑。有的时候他晚上回到家,发现珍妮特再一次处在癌症带来的沮丧之中的时候,他每次都会送她上车,然后去她最爱的饭馆好好开心一下。
他关心她,而珍妮特或许比约翰更深知这份关心。这就是所谓的你不可能把一些感情藏起来,因为对方比你更了解你。
“在我需要的时候一直关心着我。”接下来的一句这样写到。或许珍妮特是在癌症有所缓解的时候写下这些文字的。癌症还没有被发现的时候,两人的生活日复一日,都以为日子会这样继续,如果可以甚至希望永远。
“对我总是很包容。”
“始终在我身边陪伴。”