1.A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “Well, when I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, sarcastically, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”（英语笑话带翻译 www.lyy5.com ）
翻译：
一个小女孩和她的老师在说鲸鱼。
老师说，鲸鱼不可能吞了一个人，因为，即使这是一个非常大的哺乳动物，它的喉咙是非常小。
小女孩说，约拿被一条鲸鱼吞噬。
老师恼火的重申鲸鱼不能吞下一个人身体是不可能的。
小女孩说， “好吧，当我到达天堂，我会问约拿” 。
老师问，反讥道： “什么，如果约拿到地狱呢” ？
小女孩回答说： “那你问他” 。
2.A little boy bustled（喧闹，忙乱） into a grocery one day with a memorandum（便笺） in his hand.
″Hello, Mr. Smith,″He said, ″I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 33 cents.″
″Very good,″ said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
″Anything else, Charlie?″
″Yes. Twenty－seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.″
″The loaf? And whatelse?″
″Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 30 cents.″
″That will be a good brand. Goon.″
″Five pounds of tea at 90 cents, eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint, two eight－pound hams at 31 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts（核桃） at 34 cents a jar.″
The grocer made out the bill.
″It‘s a big order,″ he said. ″Did your mother tell you to pay for it？″
″My mother,″ said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, ″has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic（算术） lesson and I had to get it done somehow.″
翻译：
一天，一个小男孩匆匆忙忙地走进了一家杂货店，手里拿着一张清单。
“史密斯先生，你好，”他说道：“3毛3分钱一磅的咖啡，请给我13磅。”
“好的，”杂货店老板马上把这笔生意记了下来。
“还要别的什么，查理？”
“要的。再要27磅糖，9分钱一磅的。”
“面包要不要？还要什么？”“7磅半咸肉，3毛钱一磅的。”
“这肉是名牌的呢，还有呢？”
“9毛钱一磅的茶叶，给我5磅，8分钱一品脱的糖浆要11夸脱半，3毛1分钱一磅的8磅的大火腿要两只，3毛4分钱一罐的腌核桃要5打。”
杂货店老板把账单算了出来。“你买了很多东西，”他说：“你妈妈叫你现在把钱付清吗？”
小男孩一面把那清楚准确的账单放进口袋，一面说：“这和我妈没关系，这是我自己的算术作业,我总得想办法把它做出来！”
3.”Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked …”how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” ” Well, What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?‘ Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn‘t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don‘t know much about history.”
翻译：
“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢？”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢？”“嗯，你可以这样问，‘库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢？’”鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的回答道，“你就不能问另外一个问题吗？坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。”
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Tom: At night.
Teacher: Who told you that?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn‘t built in a day.
翻译：
老师：罗马是什么时候建成的？
汤姆：夜晚。
老师：谁告诉你的？
汤姆：你做的。您说过罗马不是一天建成的。
